I know this book.

Vanity of vanities,
blah blah blah,
to every thing, turn turn,
there is a season for Byrds,
blah blah blah.

Actually you're confusing it with Ecclesiastes, or Qoheleth. That is a wisdom book in the Hebrew Bible. This is EccesiasTICUS, which means "the church book." It was written in the 2nd century BCE by a guy named Jesus ben Sirach, and in certain circles it is known by the name Widsom of Ben-Sira. It's the longest book in the Apocrypha, and seems to be modeled on Proverbs.

My favorite passage from Ecclesiasticus is, "A person may buy much for little, but pay for it seven times over" (20:12). You see, my darlings, I got my cell phone for free, but those ghastly calling plans are destroying my 401K.

I also dig Ecclesiasticus 9:10:

"Do not forsake an old friend, for a new one does not compare to him. A new friend is like new wine; when it is old you will drink it with pleasure."

While I love Beaujolais, I do prefer a tasty 1966 Merlot. Do you have a favorite passage Methuselah?

Yes I do, it's what I used to cite to those ornery neighborhood whipper-snappers who played on my yard. "He who loves his son will often whip him" (30:1).

As Methuselah points out, not all of the advice in Ecclesiasticus appears to be so wise. In fact, some of it seems quite misogynistic. Even though the author accurately praises a good wife as a husband's greatest treasure (36:23-31), in another passage he says that a wicked man is better than a good woman (42:14).

That's awful, darlings. As Ecclesiasticus ends by stating "Do your work before the deadline, and in His [God's] time He will give you your reward," let's move on to the next book of the Apocrypha: Baruch.