Quiz: Introduction

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  1. According to the author of Genesis 1, "In the beginning..."
    • Humans said, "Let there be God!" and it was so
    • God said, "Let there be light!" and the universe was filled with university mottos
    • God created the heavens and the earth
    • God said, "Nothin' from nothin' leaves nothin'. You gotta have somethin', baby, if you wanna be with me"
  2. "Ex Nihilo" is Latin for:
    • "No more Neil Diamond songs, please!"
    • "From nothing," referring to God's creating the universe out of nothing
    • "Kneel during prayer"
    • "Love the one you're with"
  3. [Moses]
  4. "Moses supposes his toeses are roses, but Moses supposes erroneously" is
    • What the Israelites said about Moses in the desert as part of their constant complaining
    • What Pharaoh said to his wise men after Moses demanded, "Let my people go!"
    • What Aaron said to the Israelites just before constructing the Golden Calf
    • A clever dance number in the hit musical Singin' in the Rain
  5. "Decalogue" is another word for:
    • "Decking the halls" with boughs of holly during the Yuletide season
    • The type of wood used by Noah on the deck of the ark
    • The Ten Commandments given by God to Moses
    • A military strategy used by the Israelites during the conquest of Canaan
  6. What happened just before Balaam's donkey said, "What have I done to you, that you have struck me these three times" (Numbers 22:28):
    • He stumbled on the final turn of the annual Israelite horse and chariot race
    • His owner hit him three times for veering off the road and lying down
    • A funny looking Chihuahua appeared to him three times and said "Yo Quiero Taco Baal!"
    • Donkeys lack a pharyngeal epiglottis prohibiting them from conversing in English
  7. "Intertestamental literature" refers to:
    • The Mosaic laws relating to intestinal diseases
    • The additional books in Catholic and Eastern Orthodox Bibles also referred to as the Apocrypha or Deuterocanonical books
    • Legal literature relating to wills and last testaments
    • A hard rock band of the early 80's
  8. What happens if "a man digs a pit and does not cover it, and an ox or an ass falls into it" according to Exodus 21:33:
    • The guy who dug the pit has to buy the dead animal
    • An angry man in an Italian three-piece suit suddenly appears and shouts, "Has this happened to you? Call 1-800 Lawsuit now!"
    • The man's children are forced to clean up the dead animal and marry the owner's children
    • The man with the pit is required to have a cookout for the whole neighborhood
  9. [Goliath]
  10. David is to Goliath as:
    • The Whore of Babylon is to Rahab
    • Richard Gere is to Julia Roberts
    • Moses is to Pharaoh
    • Fish gall bladder is to Tobit
  11. Joshua fought the battle of:
    • Bull Run
    • Bunker Hill
    • Jericho
    • The Network Stars
  12. In the only miracle of Jesus' ministry recorded in all four Gospels, how did he feed 5,000 people?
    • The George Forman grill
    • Corn from a nearby field, which happened to be at full harvest
    • He threw Archibald Asparagus, Bob Tomato, and Larry the Cucumber into a pot of boiling water and made some delicious VeggieTales soup
    • He miraculously multiplied five loaves of bread and two fish
  13. [Shakespeare]
  14. EXTRA CREDIT: Why do some people believe that Shakespeare wrote the 46th Psalm in the King James translation of the Bible?
    • To be or not to be? That is the real question, dude!
    • The 46th word from the beginning of the psalm is "shake", and the 46th word from the end of the psalm is "spear" (though, only in the King James Bible)
    • I try to mind my "thee's" and "thou's" and "unicorns" and therefore I don't read the KJV
    • In 1956 Yul Brynner was Pharaoh, and then three years later he was Solomon. Dude, what's up with that!?